Guys weekend....

This weekend was spent in St. Cloud which was a fun single dad's weekend. Still fit in the steaks and beers and finished the Saturday night with Top Gun. You could smell the testosterone. Playing catch with #1 was fun until the tree got in the way. Couple of scrapes and bruises but we made out just fine. I also taught #1 to play cribbage which will be much fun for us. Maybe some day I will lose. I wish you luck.

new fantasy team options...

Thanksgiving Beaver



Oldest Beaver



Hunting Beaver



Election Beaver



Halloween Beaver



Festive Beaver



Harvest Beaver




Hard Working Beaver



Poking the Beaver



Beaver Fever!

Baseball

This was the third night baseball was cancelled on account of lightening. Better safe than to have any issues. It was pretty nasty too.

While loading the gear and the kids into the manivan with my parents, I hop in to hear #1 say "dad, #2 said a bad word." I look back at #2 and say, “I better not hear what you said again." he looked me right in the eye and said..."you didn't hear me you were outside." after looking at him for a second feeling a fit of rage coming on, he’s follows with his hands behind his head, "dad, just drive." I think I had either a moment of Zen, or the voice of my distant future grandson whispering, don't kill my dad or maybe just the thought of kudos son, you have the balls and I will let you have this one because I am hungry and want to go home. Either way, I simply stated, don't talk to me like that.

Pretty easy night, they played with toys and I cleaned up a little while catching up with the DVR. 90% was just too much and I need to learn how America was made. It is a good show and I would recommend it to anyone not knowing why we are who we are. Which is most of us.

Pride....

I sit here today knowing that my bride will be home tomorrow from her work retreat/getaway. The pride comes from several things. My hard working wife who sacrifices time away for career, the boys that are going up to fine toddlers but I think mostly though my pride comes from knowing that tomorrow, I will have in my hands an “I love bacon” shirt that she has bought me. I never thought of putting this said love on the front of a 100% cotton shirt. I always thought of getting a tattoo on my love handles that said the same but I guess it is a great idea that I could wear it proud on the front of me in lieu of the back. That way people now I really mean business. Don’t let my sarcasm get lost in all of this. I will be wearing this shirt every Saturday and Sunday morning until I no longer love bacon. She just wants me to get rid of my shirt that shrunk in the wash. It did.

I will now begin my psa for the day. Do not have a party at Chucky Cheese on Sunday afternoon. If you can imagine 200 people, 90% children “locked” in a cage at the end of an Atlanta runway with lights flashing that could send the majority of the elderly community home in a bambalance. It is slightly worse than that. My suggestion, Monday evening. The parents this evening that hosted a party for #1’s friend are geniuses. The kids had a blast. It is now over.

My bros and I got drunk on Friday night and one of them talked the rest of us into a polar plunge the next day. I was hung over and it was cold. My left one dropped approximately two hours later follow shortly by righty. We did it for the Special Olympics and next year we will raise more money than just the entry fees. It was a great time.

not much..

to say. Got #1 a helmet for hockey, fricken expensive. hopefully he will not be sick tomorrow so he can play. I think I finished all the vomited sheets and what not. Glad to be done with that. I have a lot of work to do in the next two days for the Apartment project. Keep on keep'n on.

Vomit.

I have no other title for this post.

Trying to catch up on work for the week, working late into the night when I heard #1 get up and walk around upstairs. This is nothing unusual, both of them typically get up and wonder around before they crawl back in bed. I gave him some time and went up to check on them. At the top of the steps was the first pile of discharge. Thinking.. Oh poor guy could not quite make it to the bathroom. It wasn’t that big of a mess so I looked for him in my bed, then in his. I found him lying in what I can only describe as the apocalypse of vomigeddon. Sheets, pillow, comforter, pajamas, wall, carpet, books, nightstand, side of bed, inside the heat register and splatter marks that would make Grissom proud. I was thinking of posting pics of the devastation and putting random numbers on post it notes and rulers for measuring the immense heinousness of the scene but the evidence was clear, he did it. Pizza chunks confirm it and him lying in it was a good hint too. Maybe #2 came into his room and threw up all over him in his sleep and then left a deposit in the hall? Highly doubtful. If this was during the day I may consider this from him. That would be something he would try, but this late at night, there is just no way. He would be too sleepy and not want to put forth the effort.

I feel my draft number coming up. 75% of the tenants in this petri dish have been sick and I have been dodging a huge bullet. The city will use a ream of paper to tabulate and present our water bill to us. I have done more loads of laundry this month than rationed by the state environmental board. I will have to see if there is a filter on this new washer. I may have to clean the chunks of propelled stomach matter out of the system from all the said materials that have been vomited on in the last three weeks. I hear the washer is done, time for round two. Tide would have been a good Valentine’s Day gift.

No way...

Bullshit. #2 just beat me in Mario Supperslugger. A fricken 3 year old. He got 5 runs int he first inning. I thought, hey no big deal lets make it a good game. I scored 3 runs. In the game. I have reached bottom today.

Joke of the Day....

Here is a good one... bear with me on this. This was comedy hour at dinner between Grandma and #1.

Gma: Knock knock.
#1: Who's there?
Gma: Banana
#1: Banana Who?
Gma: Knock knock.
#1: Who's there?
Gma: Banana
#1: Banana Who?
Gma: Knock knock.
#1: Who's there?
Gma: Banana
#1: Banana Who?
Gma: Knock knock.
#1: Who's there?
Gma: Orange
#1: Orange Who?
Gma: Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?

yeah, I typed the fricken thing. And now for #1's reply...

#1: Knock knock.
Gma: Who's there?
#1: Orange
Gma: Orange Who?
#1: Knock knock.
Gma: Who's there?
#1: Orange
Gma: Orange Who?
#1: Knock knock.
Gma: Who's there?
#1: Orange
Gma: Orange Who?
#1: Knock knock.
Gma: Who's there?
#1: Banana
Gma: Banana Who?
Banana, I just got tired of saying orange.

Good night ladies and gentlemen!

Time with the boy...

I watched some history channel this evening with #1. Christ that kid is smart but cannot stop talking during my educational shows. It was about the Mt. Saint Helens eruption. We talked about volcanoes and mudslides and earthquakes. At least I talked about it. he liked the flowers that have bloomed since the eruption.

I don't know how to put this. I may be losing my mind slightly. I, forgot to put underwear on the young one this morning. He did not say a word, went to school and did not tell anyone. He came out of class and gave me a big hug, I looked down and he had a tiny plummer crack showing. I went to pull them up and saw he had no grunderpants on. I asked his teacher if he had an accident. She said he did not. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking this morning but I have no clue how I could miss that one.

I meet with the mechanic today. He took a look at the money pit of a Kia. He let me know we will need a new transfer case... and four new tires. All wheel drive vehicles require all tires to be exact pressure, wear and astrological sign. If we sell it we will still need to fix it. We could get away with not replacing the tires but by this time we have balanced the house against the success of the car. Dare I say we might as well keep it, what else could go wrong? I will start looking for parts.

Lost was good, it should be a good season but it will be good to see the end. Too many years of questions reminds me of puberty. It was good to see that end too.

Car ride home

I think it finally stopped snowing. I will have to shovel tomorrow. shitters.

On the way home, #1 asked if it would be funny if a beep-beep jeep was in 3d. Without going into much detail, I told him everything was in 3d. That was the beginning of a long conversation. #2 kept yelling out things he saw outside and asking if they were in 3d.

#2: Sign!
me: yep.
#2: I got it right!!

#2: tree!
me: yep.
#2: I got it right!!

He caught me off guard with...
#2: Black!

me: well, bud, black is a color and you don't see it that way.

looking outside, confused because it was night...

#2: I can see it out there.

I had nothing.


I read your card, thank you. We miss you and love you very much.

Mushi Mushi

Hello, and welcome to my blog. I will try and remember all the days events to pass on to you all.

I worked then I came home. crap, this will be hard.

This will be easier when the boys are not fighting about who should eat their yogurt first...maybe.