Vomit.

I have no other title for this post.

Trying to catch up on work for the week, working late into the night when I heard #1 get up and walk around upstairs. This is nothing unusual, both of them typically get up and wonder around before they crawl back in bed. I gave him some time and went up to check on them. At the top of the steps was the first pile of discharge. Thinking.. Oh poor guy could not quite make it to the bathroom. It wasn’t that big of a mess so I looked for him in my bed, then in his. I found him lying in what I can only describe as the apocalypse of vomigeddon. Sheets, pillow, comforter, pajamas, wall, carpet, books, nightstand, side of bed, inside the heat register and splatter marks that would make Grissom proud. I was thinking of posting pics of the devastation and putting random numbers on post it notes and rulers for measuring the immense heinousness of the scene but the evidence was clear, he did it. Pizza chunks confirm it and him lying in it was a good hint too. Maybe #2 came into his room and threw up all over him in his sleep and then left a deposit in the hall? Highly doubtful. If this was during the day I may consider this from him. That would be something he would try, but this late at night, there is just no way. He would be too sleepy and not want to put forth the effort.

I feel my draft number coming up. 75% of the tenants in this petri dish have been sick and I have been dodging a huge bullet. The city will use a ream of paper to tabulate and present our water bill to us. I have done more loads of laundry this month than rationed by the state environmental board. I will have to see if there is a filter on this new washer. I may have to clean the chunks of propelled stomach matter out of the system from all the said materials that have been vomited on in the last three weeks. I hear the washer is done, time for round two. Tide would have been a good Valentine’s Day gift.